i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
