i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
