If i come over, it means nothing
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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