exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
