how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
