The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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