i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
