I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
