he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
