When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
