I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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