hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
