you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
