But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
