is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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