I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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