you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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