Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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