sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
