he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
