Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
