its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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