Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
