i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
