Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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