Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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