There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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