So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
