His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
