Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
