Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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