that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
