Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
