all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
