Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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