I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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