At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
