She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize