Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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