Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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