So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
