got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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