I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
