remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
