Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think my tv is drunk
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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