They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
