thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
