My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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