Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize