If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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