i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
