I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
