I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
