He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
