And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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