There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize