I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
