i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
