and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
