I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
