I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
